Not many women talk about the emotional journey of changing your name. Being in the midst of the process myself. I can tell you it’s not as easy logistically or mentally as I originally thought it would be.
When everyone is asking you before you are married whether or not you are planning to change your name, future relatives and outsiders assumed I would with no question. Those close to me, young women, recently married friends, asked with almost a pained look of understanding. They knew of the mourning process one goes through when deciding to give up their former identity that they worked all their life to build and maintain. Suddenly they are a part of something else, not their own, yet expected to maintain.
I went back and forth for a bit during our engagement, which surprised me as I had never questioned it before. In the end, I decided to go forward with the name change, for myself, because I am a bit of a traditionalist, and my husband’s family has such a rich history that I was proud to be a part of.
I signed up for the site MissNowMrs.com which I would highly recommend. While you have to enter in lots of information, some of which is not common sense, the site auto fills all the forms you need to save you the hunt and the hand cramp.
I am about midway through the process now, half of my formal documents and accounts changed, leaving my identity in this weird limbo. One time I signed in with the wrong name at my yoga studio, causing mild embarrassment as I explained that I do actually have an account, just under a different name.
I will be relieved when the process is over and I don’t have to stutter when someone asks for my name. I also can’t wait until this new identity feels like second-nature. Right now, I feel as though I’m wearing a skin that doesn’t fit. Almost as though I need to grow into my title as a married woman, and a wife.
Fake it ’til you make it, right? What better time to start than the present.