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So now I’m having the opposite problem… having too many great ideas! Picking an overall feel to our wedding has suddenly become an overwhelming task that seems endless! Once I feel like I’ve narrowed down a color scheme or invitation design, I’ll either find some other awesome idea that will completely change the “vision”, or I’ll get an overwhelming “Oh I don’t like that!” response from the fiancé (who knew he’d have such definite feelings about our color scheme!). I know once it’s all pulled together, he’ll love it (I have a pretty good idea about what he wants- banquet style seating, pewter accents, perhaps a traditional coat of arms?). The problem I’m realizing now is, what do I want?? I’ve become so good at reading other people’s styles and tailoring to their tastes, how do I know what I really like?
Then I found this blog. What a savior! Reading the Wedding Graduate stories helped remind me that this is MY wedding, not what the Wedding Industry says it should be. If I don’t find a wedding invitation style we like, I can design my own and print it at Staples. There are very few people who would know the difference!! (I do work at an invitation store… so they might know…)
The most important thing is to not let myself get too far ahead of what should come first. Becoming overwhelmed that I’ll never-find-the-photographer-of-my-dreams-in-our-budget is pointless when I don’t even have a date to check their availability! Right now I need to focus on finding a venue (which my fiancé still thinks is way too far ahead) then trust that all other details will fall into place. We do have over 16 months! I was hoping to attend a bridal show in the next few months, but my work schedule has conflicted with every show that I’ve been (secretly) planning on attending. Of course when I no longer have to pretend to be engaged, I am working!
Deep breathes… there will be more bridal shows… before I am married. Some people may think I’m crazy for having such a long engagement. Well, then you obviously don’t know me! But I don’t want to discourage all those brides out there that have a few months to plan. It can be done! But I recommend a lot of help, and a laid back fiancé 🙂
This is the exact question I posed to my fiancé for which I got a giant eyeroll. The reality is I have been subconsciously planning my wedding for the last year or so but refused to let myself get too serious about it until I was actually engaged. Well, it’s TIME!! The strange part is that I’m not entirely sure where to start. You get so overwhelmed with the excitement and want to start doing everything at once!
So here is my crash course for the newly engaged on what to do first.
1.Relax and enjoy! You only get to be “newly engaged” once in life (hopefully) and it flies by so fast! It’s easy to get caught up in all the planning drama and questions like “so have you set a date?”. Remember, this is about you and your fiancé. Set aside time to be with each other and adjust to your new status.
2. Think about having an engagement party or sending out formal announcements. My mom and I are already having too much fun putting together a small gathering for our family & close friends. We love any excuse to throw a party! I’m not as familiar with engagement parties, so we are drawing on inspiration from everything, including the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (anyone remember the camel greeting guests at Pandora’s engagement party??). It’s been a great way to ease into the flow of planning without the pressure of planning the-only-wedding-you-will-ever-have.
Photo from Bravotv.com The Real Housewise of Beverly Hills: Otherwise Engaged
3. Read this article. There are so many great articles on this site, but this one helped me focus. It even helped calm the nerves of my fiancé (after much prodding to get him to read it) to understand that you don’t have to do EVERYTHING right away. But we do need to start some stuff 🙂
4. Build your vision. Once again, it’s very easy to get overwhelmed. I recommend using sites like Pinterest or the recently launched Lover.ly to gather pictures of things you like (post in the comments if you need an invite!). Then see if you can spot any trends (i.e. colors, overall feel, location). See also: Inspiration Gods at the right.
It has been such an exciting transition to become a bride-to-be myself, I’m so thankful I know so much already! Now I just have to get my guy excited that we’re not just planning a wedding, but our married life together!